Ernest Forbes

A man walked into a Belfast pub and left a parcel on the bar. 'What's that?' asked the barman. 'It's my lunch.' 'Is it tickin'?' 'No, it's turkey.' man entered the same Belfast pub and handed the barman a sheet of paper and said: 'Make up that order for me.' The barman read the list aloud, 'Twenty...

It was a very warm day and the husband announced he was going to sunbathe in the back garden. 'I wonder what the neighbours would say if I sunbathed in the nude,' he remarked.'They would probably say 1 married you for your money,' replied his wife.The two men had been introduced at a party and were...